Twin Tales Enjoyer T-Shirts

"It doesn't help that you have such fond memories of our upbringing."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Fishing Tales

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

Reasonableman

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

A Salmon Lie

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

"Excuse me. Anyone sitting there?"

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

Circus trousers

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'

Twins

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

"So I break free and I swear that hook was this big."

'Women don't simply believe everything we hear, you know.' - 'But that does not stop you repeating it.'

'Yes, the owners are giraffes...Did I forget to mention it?...'

A Tale of the Sea

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

'I don't believe for one minute that an octopus crawled up last night and ate all the coconuts!'

William Wallace.

'He's lying about either a fish or his penis.'

'I think they're identical twins. But I'm not sure.'

'I,m trying something new...giraffe manure!'

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

Fisherman catches the Big Fish

"And then in Italy Giovanni has found his soulmate"