Tv Time Referee Pillows

"Our TV has a 'fair' feature. It knows when you've dominated the TV, so it automatically switches over to my show."

"They grow up so fast."

Lazy Octopus

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

College of Referee Training: 'Congratulations, you failed your eye test abysmally!'

"Baseball is way too boring - so, we're doing one inning, winner takes all, everybody go home early and live their lives."

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'That was a peach of a right hander the referee gave you!'

Watchdog

"I mean, he does have a point."

Football Violence

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

At times Katie really hated that her dad was a referee. 'Penalty.Holding.Richard retreats five yards.'

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

'Ref!!'

"Why don't we enroll in a Conflict Resolution Program where we can study the underpinnings of conflict dynamics and implement strategies to foster sustainable peace?"

A football referee accidentally shoots his starting pistol in his pocket.

Referee's Glamorous Assistant...

Modern Football

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

Covid Euro 2020

"When I know he's had a rough day, I always put a few drops of lavender on the TV remote before he gets home."

Linesman of the North.

"Okay, so the object of the game is to get into the most pedantic fight about the rules."

Free kick to us...er I mean, to Rovers.

Play golf on the billiards table.

"They're right, you do need glasses."

'The shows will look the same, but the commercials appear in 3-D high definition.'

Space alien enters TV store to have his antennas adjusted.

VAR - a nail in the football coffin...

'A yellow card carried no weight here!'