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the Morning Joe team.

'We're requesting a delay so my client can appear on lots of talk shows.'

'I picked it all up from daytime TV.'

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

Love is when you watch television together.

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

Love is when you watch television together.

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

Succession 2

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

'Has Oprah ever been married?'

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Will work for Food Network.

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

Time Machine Collision.

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"