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"I'm binge ignoring everything you're binge watching."

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

Nun Binning the Devil

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

The Demon's Disguise

'Relax - someone will be looking for us...the Inland Revenue...the T V licence people...'

'We see a lot of carpal tunnel syndrome caused by repetitious pushing of the tv mute button during the political ad season.'

"Get ready to duck...we're caught in a departmental crossfire."

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

Drones Unlimited

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

'His last words were 'Go Dodgers!''

"Accursed global warming!"

"Dora's anxiety has always manifested itself in the 'flight response.'"

"Must...not gaze into...his eye! For I may...never break free!"

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

Winter depression.

'I find it's best to just stay out of office politics.'

"I like to keep up with all the latest things I don't care about."

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

"For some plays, the second act is best left shrouded in mystery."

'What's up? Don't tell me they've taken off the football for Corrie?'

'Bless this spinach, albeit the work of the devil.'

"I knew those drones were bad news..."

"I see Rover has introduced himself to you?"

"Tonight's homework...scatter some Legos on the floor, turn out the lights and try to make it across the room."

L-L-L-L-Lobster Face!

'Good report Bob but it's not quite there yet.' And neither was Bob.

"He forgot to record the game, so he had to watch it live. The 1,284 commercials was too much for him to handle."

Mitzy was determined to wash that man right out of her hair

'If you don't want to know the scores please exercise your distrust of the BBC now.'

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