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'And now, a list of today's professional athlete felony assaults....'

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"God, I love this show!"

Barry Norman

Occu-Pie Mars

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Skipping Horse

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Grace For Flies

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Why do they do that?"

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"Cat box"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Love at First Sight

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

Faster, Georges, faster!

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

Selling lemon latt�

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'