Tv Judge Fan Pillows

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"Not guilty?"

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

'Do your lawyers have to be here?'

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

"My conclusion that he lied was based on his body language, his polygraph results, and the complete implausibility of his story."

The court freezes my assets and wants me to live on $20K per month? They want me to starve!

'I was afraid cameras in the court would lead to this.'

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

'I understand Benson is the principle partner here.'

'Mr. Rock and Mrs. Hardplace are here, sir.'

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

'A surgeon operated on the wrong side of the operating room, and is being charged with medical feng shui malpractice.'

The People versus McGinley gets acrimonious.

'The medical society says yes, the hospital says maybe and his lawyer says no.'

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

"Oh sure, some random monster runs amok through the village, and the first person you pull in for questioning is my client!"

Good Morning Britain has just achieved something previously thought impossible...by making Piers Morgan the most likeable man on screen.

'Screw up and take out a canine and it's gonna be Subpoena City.'

'Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?'

'I stopped watching Sesame Street the second I found out it was educational.'

Forget the chart, we got a real problem, the shredder's broken!

Ostrich TV.

"Please read back that last remark in a more murdery voice."

"Oh my god Mr. Bland, something's happened hasn't it ?"

"OK, state of New Mexico vs. Alex Baldwin, take two... aaaand ACTION!"