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Stephen Harper on the attack ads.

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

Generic Store: Sign in Window

'Side effects may include....'

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

Real Estate Personals

Overdose of election campaign ads on TV.

'I'm a voice over artist.'

'Thank goodness for these commercials on the nightly news or we'd never be aware that we need all these prescription medications.'

'Big-time operators are standing by....'

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

'Of course he's an actor. When was the last time you saw a kid enjoy something that was good for him?'

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"Play it like, sure, the world sees you as just a hamburger, but you know there's so much more to you than that."

'...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys don't really have a gun...no this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant...'

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

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"We used to think sugar and spice were all things nice - until that was proved to be a lie put out by global food manufacturers."

"Has this ever happened to you? Well, with our Medical Emergency Distress System..."

'Hey! -- that Maytag repairman is an impostor!'

'I love it, the chief loves it. The client loves it but the Gods don't love it.'

'When you caught yourself saying the repetitive never-ending TV commercials and couldn't stop doing it, you should have come to see me then!'

"They do say results will vary."

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'...But the good news is TV ads have been promoting the idea that money isn't everything.'

'Okay, I'll do one more dog food commercial, but I don't want to get typecast.'

'After nine commercials I've forgotten what film we were watching.'

'The programs have improved, but now the commercials are getting violent.'

"... starts Friday at a theatre near you."

"They really are chunky."

"The only side effect from this new drug will be a mind-numbing barrage of commercials on daytime TV."

'Yummo Toothpaste contains no caffeine, and cleans your teeth better than Coke or Pepsi!'