Tv Buffs Pillows

'TV's too violent. Better wear a helmet.'

'What d'you mean-you THINK you've seen this before-you've seen EVERYTHING before!'

"I just got a new high-def television, but I can't enjoy it because I have low-def eyesight."

Doctors amusing references to 'Who wants to be a Millionaire' are a little exasperating

'She must be the general...the one with the most bling on her chest.'

'They say TV kills the art of conversation...'

'Why don't you change it to sports or cartoons or something? -- You know CNN just depresses you.'

'Mum...Dad, I have something important to tell you. I'm the only gay that doesn't like Little Britain.'

'Well you were warned about the dangers of sedentary lifestyle.'

Kids watching television, "I've just seen a nipple it must be nine o' clock!"

'Do we have to do this every time carol singers come around?'

'Lottery...flogging...crucifixion... Saturday night schedules are improving at last.'

'The funny thing is, I miss 'Baywatch' most of all.'

Baby loving the television more than his/her parents.

'Because we can't afford to subscribe to the Spanish Channel!'

"I don't even know when late night begins anymore."

A man is standing up with a remote stuck between his butt cheeks-he says;'Nobody is going anywhere until the t.v. remote is found!'

'The telly's full to bursting with these food shows!'

'Cheeze... I wasn't ready for Andy Rooney AND Morley Safer on high definition at the same time.'

'Norm! There is something on TV I want you to see.'

Television remote that makes TV screen bigger.

"Stop it! You're killing me!"

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Television Readers.

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

TV jester.

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"