Turtle And Tortoise Lover Pillows

'I'm having real trouble getting on the property ladder...'

Speed Dating for Turtles

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Eat my dust!"

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

Turtle Trailer Court

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"I'm fascinated by body language."

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'Leo, did you forget to walk the snail?'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

"We haven't danced in ages."

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

The Stripper

Ike and Tina Turtle.

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

'Thanks to the internet, I can telecommute a few days a week now: I don't need to waste so much time travelling...'

Tortoises breakdancing

'Face it, we're vegetarians because plants can't toddle away.'