Turtle And Tortoise Lover Pillows

'I'm having real trouble getting on the property ladder...'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Eat my dust!"

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"I'm fascinated by body language."

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'Leo, did you forget to walk the snail?'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

"We haven't danced in ages."

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

The Stripper

Ike and Tina Turtle.

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

'Face it, we're vegetarians because plants can't toddle away.'

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

Tortoises breakdancing

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.