Turning 20 Prints

Happy Birthday!

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Gary turns 40.

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

Ed's receding hairline!

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

High Pants/Low Pants.

'No, thanks. My folks won't let me get any piercings, yet.'

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'