Tune Chaser On Water Pillows

Violinist on a surfboard

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

Surfing koala.

'It's true what they say, you really can hear the sea in these things!'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

ACME Balloon Company.

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

"Check out this new store."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'...I said we've been marooned.'

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

'And right here they merged...'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

"Oh, I can't complain"

Dragon Graph

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

'Relax, dude - I got your back.'

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

'And you'll be pleased to notice, sir, that we had to eliminate the top of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'