Tummy Rub Enthusiast Mugs

'Will work for tummy rub.'

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Play 'Misty' for me."

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

Couples Massage

"They rubbed my tummy, chief- I told them everything."

Musician

"Thanks for inviting us over to try out your new hot tub!"

'It's about time you got jets installed!'

"So does this Flamingo diet have any side effects?"

"Belly rubs are a gateway activity that leads to chasing bunnies and fetching frisbees."

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

'I told you not to clean it with soap and water.'

'Are you going to stay up all night making YouTuba videos?'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

'Sorry I'm late - I stopped off for a beer and a back rub.'

'Oceanographers go home'

"I need to get back in the gym."

"The bad news is, no walk. The good news is, unlimited belly rubs, chase around the dining room table, salmon for dinner, and you're on my bed tonight."

"Cordell has switched to a more music, less talk format."

He can't be that short, I'll bet he's sitting in a hot tub

"You're holding a lot of homophobia in your lower back."

"Combining our favorite pastimes of drinking, fishing and hot tubbing makes me realize... we should stop drinking."

"I'm glad you're enjoying the massage feature on your new chair, but can you lower the setting a bit?"

Still waiting for tape 2

Tuba Music

"I find the full body money immersion quite therapeutic after a tough day."

"Don't panic, you're safe: he's my next appointment..."

Rum Pah Pum Pum!