Trusty Deal Spotter T-Shirts

'You look like an honest man - but perhaps we can still use you.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"I hear the Universe is expanding - set up a meeting with their people."

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

All this week! 1 extra hour with every clock purchased.

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

Garage Sales Anonymous

"Unfortunately, my holding on to tech-stocks was faith-based."

Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.

'Sorry for interrupting. I didn't realize you were still trying to hammer out an agreement.'

'So, anyone have any idea how we go about explaining how we made a hostile takeover bid for one of our own subsidiaries?'

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment... so it kind of evens out."

" know a bargain when I see one!"

'Now that we've lulled you with our no-haggle sales policy, our finance manager will apply heavy arm twisting for dealer add-ons.'

"Perhaps we can arrive a a mutually beneficial arrangement?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but as a Wall Street executive you should know when something's a bad deal.'

'No, Lindsay, in a real store there is no 'Add To Cart' button to click.'

'Lots of give and take in that negotiation...they took and we gave.'

'I may have made a deal with the devil. Hard to tell who you're really dealing with on eBay.'

'Don't waste too much time in Congress, son. You've got a really great future as a lobbyist!'

I thought you wanted me to sell your car.

Aggressive grocery shopping

"Oh, stop flexing, Dinsdale, get you lawyers and let's deal."

'My decision is maybe and that's final.'

'Then, at 9:07, they'll take a shot at you from the roof across the street in a hostile takeover bid. Duck.'

"You cannot resist my universal appeal!"

"Alright, I'll get you over the Alps, but I want stock options and cash bonus."

STRIP Hambone: Computer retailer makes money by repairing them

"This isn't one of those Fannie and Freddie scams, is it?"