Truancy Fighter Mugs

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Stresses Can Have a Motivating Effect...If They Don't Kill You!

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

Vaccine

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Tangled Earphones Support Group.

"Prices may keep going up, up, up, but my love for you will remain positively, and forever, as is."

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

'You realize, of course, that that's the fifth 25 stake we've now sold in our entertainment division.'

'Don't come too close - this baby will tear you to pieces, bite your head off and drink your blood... I've called him 'Fiscal Policy'.'

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

A street fight.

Flu Vaccine.

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

Pick one: ounce of prevention or pound of cure.

"This feels so familiar."

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

Stress on GPs

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

Trick or Treatment.

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

Bernard Madoff's House Arrest.

Wrestling Champion.

"After giving them the runaround for five minutes, pass them on to anger management."

"Here comes someone now. If we're lucky they haven't had their fly shot, or won't wash their hands!"

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

'I may be 40 years old, but I have the student debt of a 20 year old.'

'You don't want to eat me. I have Bird Flu.'