Troubleshooting Enthusiast Prints

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

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'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

Where was I?

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

"I think we could work very well together."

"Nap time."

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

Ezra's purchase of an off-brand gps device meant he'd never get the chance to make his horse drink,

"Turn down the bass."

'Any day now I'll fix the roof.'

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

"Shall I kiss it better?"

'You want to discuss the glitches in the software I sent you? No, Tuesday's out - how about never - is never okay?'

'Bad news, Dr. Treemont...It needs an engine transplant.'

"The Help Desk guy says to try Ctrl-Alt-Delete....!"

"The pilots are trained on all the plane's technology, but they're still having a hard time with the backup camera."

"She's also the only one who knows how to unjam the copy machine."

Computer Frustration

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you installed it.'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'The computer's down again.'

'Guess what? I fixed your jack-in-the-box.'

'It's one of those viruses that corrupt every damn thing.'

Cut out and keep your own IT expert.