Troubleshooting Aficionados Prints

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

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'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

Where was I?

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

"I think we could work very well together."

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

Ezra's purchase of an off-brand gps device meant he'd never get the chance to make his horse drink,

"Turn down the bass."

'Home office' worker's house with cable going to 'Office services companies'

'He needs professional HELP!'

"The Help Desk guy says to try Ctrl-Alt-Delete....!"

"She's also the only one who knows how to unjam the copy machine."

Water Gardening: And you will find yourself thinking over many garden problems at the waterside.

Computer Frustration

'The computer's down again.'

"The pilots are trained on all the plane's technology, but they're still having a hard time with the backup camera."

Cut out and keep your own IT expert.

'It's one of those viruses that corrupt every damn thing.'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Monitor Reads: Now You've Done It! AAIIIIEEE...

Prehistoric Clocks.

'I think Phillips has a short circuit in his smart phone.'

'I think I've found what's causing your funny buzzing sound.'

"Kick the machine"

'Other than the hatchet I don't know what could be wrong with it.'

'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'