Trip Preparation T-Shirts

"It is 4:00am Sir, time to go to the airport..."

'Karla worries about being asked to take her shoes off at the airport.'

Airlines

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

'Are we broke yet?'

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

"I just..."

Italia tours

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Western Outfitters.

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

The Airport.

"We were thinking about the Himalayas this summer. On the other hand, there's something very special about Montauk."

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

Mad For It

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

A mental-health spot quiz, Al: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single … Google search of travel websites"?

Face it, Bob, we're lost. Welcome to Faceitbobwe'relost pop. 2.

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

"The holiday was a real eye opener...the crowds,the unbearable heat and noise,the chaos...and that was just at Heathrow."

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"Where should we fly to for our next vacation?"

"Can you folks handle firearms?"

"Have you decided where to travel?"

Desert Island Statues wearing bucket hats.