Trick-or-treat Traditionalists Gifts

'Hey, honey! Come look at all these scary mortgage lenders and Wall Street bankers!'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"I'm spooked - they don't want candy, they want ice water!"

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

Trick or Tweet

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

"This is your Aunt Blizzard. She's the wicked witch of the Northeast."

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

Halloweek: Eating candy seven days straight.

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

Happy Halloween. Something's different about her. It's boo!-tox. Every Halloween its the same thing. They take candy off the house and never come to the door. That careless jerk almost trampled me! What was it? The "Heedless" Horseman! I know it's just toilet paper, but as a mummy it still gives me the creeps!

"We gotta find a way to increase our Halloween candy."

"I love this ghost costume because it covers this costume. I remove it and go back for seconds!"

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

A few Halloween costume ideas.

'All I've got so far is a bag of stuffing.'

"Put away the gummy candies and bring out the apples. The kid's mother is our dentist!"

Alien Spaceship Crashes - On Halloween. House owner think he is trick or treating.

The Morrison brothers took dressing as woodchucks to the extreme.'

"I'm not very scary now, but I will be if I don't get candy."

"Mom, this isn't what I meant when I said I wanted to be Iron Man for Halloween."

"I'm the Grin Reaper."

"With Tia Carmen's chickens, we'll get twice as much candy!"

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"Did you say 'trick'? Maybe that's it.Maybe it's just been one long, horrible trick."

'I swear, you kids get better costumes every year! Where's your trick-or-treat bag?'

Luddite Zoom.

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"Don't be out late and stay within Wi-Fi-range."

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

"Friendly? I'll say! You walk up to a house and they give you candy."

"I'm your sun!"

Trick or treat surprise.

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"