Trial Wit Prints

"Permission to reproach the bench" is not an option, counselor. It should be.

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Backfire

Snowprov

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

I love Lawyers

Doggone

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Czarcasm

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"Bailiff."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'He started it!'

"Let me tell you, folks—I've been around long enough to develop an instinct for these things, and my client is innocent or I'm very much mistaken."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'I don't do 'Goodbyes' ...'

Paper Boy

'He never listened to his mother!'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."