Trendy Observer T-Shirts

Hoping to appear 'hipper,' many candidates are sporting Justin Bieber haircuts.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

'Why don't you use more blue? -- Blue is very popular these days.'

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"What are you doing?"

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."

#notblessed

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."