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2 Live J. Crew

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

La Table

Bad hair day!

'She's so put together!'

Men's business romper.

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

'I want you to paddle against the current.'

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

A Macaroni in 1772

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Keeping warm.

Rap music

"Absolutely not!"

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'