Trendsetter In Disguise T-Shirts

"I should warn you that I've stopped thinking of my moustache as ironic."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

Haircuts

"Even the waiters here are organic."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

La Table

Bad hair day!

'She's so put together!'

'I want you to paddle against the current.'

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Men's business romper.

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Rap music

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"Absolutely not!"

Keeping warm.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

A Macaroni in 1772

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'