Trendsetter In Disguise T-Shirts

"I should warn you that I've stopped thinking of my moustache as ironic."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Haircuts

"Even the waiters here are organic."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Bad hair day!

La Table

'She's so put together!'

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

Men's business romper.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

'I want you to paddle against the current.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Keeping warm.

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

Rap music

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

"Absolutely not!"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

A Macaroni in 1772

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'