Trend Hunter Pillows

"Oh and, incidentally, Whit, I'm afraid there's room for only one haircut like this around here."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"This is daring, but I like it."

Men's business romper.

Studies show foods work miracles!

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I, TikTok."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Kensington Fluffies

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

Final words on gravestones.

Notice: this dress will be out of style by January 2009.

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"