Treasury Officer Pillows

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"I've balanced the state budget: The graft and payoffs are equal."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"Who's your daddy corporation?"

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

IRS Audit Section

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

Man reading 'How not to get caught.'

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

White House Garage Sale.