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"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

The Antiquary

"You ever wonder why they always draw only one tree?"

A writer of the sea.

'Say! Isn't that the guy who writes the budget travel guides!?'

'If you've brought us gifts we don't want any more Des O'Connor records!'

'The tales I could tell, sonny... I've marked my way across 7 continents, from the Kelly green hydrants of Belfast to the salty yellow curbs of old Shanghai...'

'Aren't you the writer of the influential book, 'Moose on the Loose'?'

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Explorer's Club: 'Rule one - when you eat a hamburger, don't ask what's in it!'

"Seriously, I'm not lost: I'm a travel writer..."

"Things must be awful up there. A travel site doesn't even have us listed in the top 20 of worst places to live."

"I met a chap the other day who'd never climbed Everest."

Popular Viking travel writing.

A spider disguised as a palm tree preys on an oblivious castaway

"We are cannibals. . ."

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

"We want to do the whole Jack Kerouac-'On the Road' thing, only with B&B's"

'I can't hear you - let's repeat the last ten minutes of our extremely irritating conversation'

'You know how you can never be bothered to read Tim and Sue's postcards?'

Have you considered a career in travel brochures?

'Don't you have any maps of undiscovered secrets of ancient temples?'

'I'm not a famous writer, but I do make enough money to travel the country and sleep in my car.'

"Lest we forget, dear Tenzing, it's about the journey and not the destination."

The back of the Taj Mahal.

"Looks like we can't expect to find much in that direction."

Day 68: Still seeing lackluster traffic on my 'Life on a Desert Island' blog."

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and Rachel took the one less traveled... Huge mistake."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Easter Island legs

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'