Travel Satire Lover Pillows

'Will keep it down ... you're disturbing our pilot scheduling policy discussions.' Sleeping Pilots?

Your Luggage

Carefree luggage.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Limerick Airport

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

Can I have a look at the map?

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

Biliard Enthusiast