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Bedbug Hotel Reviews

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

"Well what does the GPS say?"

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"You've got to be kidding me." Hoover Dam

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Have you considered a career in travel brochures?

Quick, follow that star

"Seriously, I'm not lost: I'm a travel writer..."

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and Rachel took the one less traveled... Huge mistake."

The Adventures of Tom Friedman, Boy Reporter

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

Ghosts from around the world

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

The Queen Mary 2: World's largest ocean liner.

'If you've brought us gifts we don't want any more Des O'Connor records!'

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Flight: Select your spot.

The segway RV.

'The tales I could tell, sonny... I've marked my way across 7 continents, from the Kelly green hydrants of Belfast to the salty yellow curbs of old Shanghai...'

'You know how you can never be bothered to read Tim and Sue's postcards?'

I love that new elephant smell.

The Antiquary

Lady Liberty Cools Off

'Don't you have any maps of undiscovered secrets of ancient temples?'

"Lest we forget, dear Tenzing, it's about the journey and not the destination."

The Photographer

The back of the Taj Mahal.