Travel Planning Pillows

"Banking, booking flights, shopping - there's no limit to what he can't do on the internet."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

"I just..."

S**t Creek Raft Rentals: "Sorry, dude, we're out of paddles."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Go there Travel Agency.

'Don't worry, have a nice holiday, I'll cover for you: Once cockadoodledoo at sunrise, any idiot can do that!'

'To be honest, on our budget, all we can afford is a three day timeshare in a tent...'

Excess Baggage: For many folks, the best part of a vacation is the 'getting ready'.

Tourist and the Right Way

The fate of the emigrant

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

"First class, or with children?"

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

Italia tours

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

'Are we broke yet?'