Trailer Buff Pillows

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Bond James, Bond."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

Director/Action Man toy.

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Herman Mankiewicz

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

No-Work Orange

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

'One eye of newt or two?'

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

Trump! The Musical

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Stand-up Romcom

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Silence of the Chickens...