Traffic Trouble Dodger T-Shirts

"Maybe we should reschedule. It's bark-to-bark up here and Waze says it's forty minutes to the lazy river."

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

The Fast Lane.

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

'Roy! Over here! This line is way shorter.'

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

'I mean, how totally lame is this? Just as the marketing for our new video game was about to go viral, the Center for Disease Control shut us down!'

Road Construction.

'The view is great, but sometimes you've got to hang out with the non-fliers.'

"I admire the way you avoided that radar trap."

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

Psychology: Module 1 . . . . Attention span.

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

"Are you listening to me?"

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

"Yeah, almost didn't make it out of that one."

'There's going to be a lot of blame thrown around. Remember to bob and weave.'