Traffic Punster Prints

'It was the M25, Junction 14; your father crossed over to the other side. In more ways than one.'

Central Reservations Available.

"Hey, have you ever asked yourself why you need to cross the street before hurling yourself into traffic?"

Cake Free Zone

Dogs life

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"Is there a problem officer?"

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

"I'm not that kind of pro-Bono lawyer."

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

'Not too serious just a couple of particles collided.'

'I'm trying to get a Handel on classical music, but I'm finding that it's one step forward and two steps Bach.'

Two particles outside Hadron Collider; 'Fancy getting smashed this evening?'

Lawyer Xing

The Stand-up Petrophysicist...

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

Fisherman.

"It's a new career for me. I left the business world because I kept running companies into the ground."

Driver to tire salesman: 'I drive on a lot of rough roads. How much to pave the tires?'

'Maybe complimentary refills wasn't such a good idea.'

"Duffer, Penny, Bailey & Coco. Attorneys at Gnaw."

"What's a cow doing in my classroom?"

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'Now, that's funny! You were right! This traffic sign REALLY means 'One Way Road'!'

'Well it's one way of popularising our work at CERN!'

"I think that last cone was more than a warning."

"I sold my car $1500 last week! It's actually worth only $750! The guy understood! I'd just filled it up with gas!"