Tradition Transformer T-Shirts

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"You've changed."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

Nothing is Lost Everything is Transformed.

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

Chameleon humor...'I never metamorphosis I didn't like...'

Drusilla realised how different her boss looked now they met after hours.

"The court granted me a new identity!"

Hanukkah tree

'You should have seen me when I was a caterpillar!'

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

"You may now kiss the... Oh, I see you have already done that!"

"I don't care that you personalized your work area, but stop yelling 'Howdy, neighbor!' to everyone you see!"

"This is a cover of a song that was perfect in its original form. Apologies in advance."

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

"And then, having shaped up, he shipped out."

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

Bummer about your claustrophobia, Ted.

'He's calling Running Bear on his mobile.'

Bullfighting might be more widely accepted if it had a different name. They should call it "dodgebull"! (Published originally on April 27, 2015.)

'Since you think better in there, Hawkins, how's the McNulty account coming?'

Dentist: Pumpkin before and after.

Easter and Passover Island

'I know that you have changed Irene, but I still think we can work things out.'

The Seder plate at Ye Olde Yankee Inne

'We, too, celebrate Hallowe'en.'