Tradition Maker T-Shirts

The Wargfields embark on their Christmas night tradition of camping out at the mall to be the first in line to return gifts.'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"Ours is not a creative clan."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

Folk Wedding

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 11.

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"One day you can participate in Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day as a parent."

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'Oh yeah? Well, to hell with tradition. We're building a snow woman!'

Shall I be mother?

"What happened to the good old Jewish holidays when all we used to do was eat?"

Maypole

"I'm getting too old for this..."

Origins of a family tradition.

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

"We always have pizza for Easter dinner because that's what my mom gives up for Lent."

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"