Trading Junkie Prints

"Hibernate? Are you kidding - and miss the bear market?"

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

'I've never seen a stock crash so hard.'

'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'

The Invisible Hand of the Market

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

Circa 1490: The area we now know as Wall Street.

'These are tough times for wall street tycoons...the best we can do is laugh half-way to the banks.'

I think I have a gilt complex.

Internet Cafe

Primordial Schmooze

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

Investing 101 Acronym Test.

Investments: Remember, tis better to have loved money and lost, than never to have loved money at all.

It's 10 p.m. Do you know why stocks rise and fall, but the U.S. National debt keeps going up?

Dollars Press Conference

Homing pigeons in therapy.

'I know exactly how you feel, kid. I remember when I wiped out my first client. Of course, I'd been at the job more than 15 minutes.'

Phobia Clinic: Now treating Dow 15,000 acrophobia.

Wall Street Lights.

"D'you have any porn porn?"

"It's taking more and more destruction just to feel anything."

'Kids, let's pause and give thanks to that higher power that keeps this family together...our internet service provider.'

"Up a hundred and sixteen points! If only we'd had the foresight to invest ten minutes ago."

Stock quotes on beach.