Track Tricksters Gifts

Egg and spoon race.

"OK, ready to go again?"

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

"I just need help getting the pit out."

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

'For pity's sake stop that infernal humming!'

'What a control freak!'

RETURN BOOKS HERE, 'I'm sorry, sir -- all our books on Houdini have disappeared.'

"It's improv night."

The inventor of the clock realizes his mistake

'Out of the blue, my Master is now obsessed with having me sit, shake hands and rollover...'

'Safe!'

Snowman Magic

At the baby oil factory.

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

'Wanna play? We need another body... er... one more player.'

Fry's Family: Uncle Frank always preferred his eggs hard-boiled.

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

Tred carefully mill.

'Nope! Wrong again! Let's try it again... around and around... now which cup is your nitroglycerin tablet under?'

Hurdles with Steps

Pianist Fraud

Boy jumps over ping pong table.

"Last year, my whole family went on a trip. It started on a Tuesday, and ended just in the nick of time."

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

Man using roller blades on treadmill.

'Is this the narrow gauge track or a standard gauge track?'

They're brothers. One is very intelligent. The other is a baseball pitcher who constantly cheats. They both have a lot on the ball!

"I like the look of this steamer in the 2.30."

Is it time for church already? I tolled you so!

'As you can see, nothing up my sleeves...'

"See, you just turn it on and stand here and it slides you right to the shirt you want to wear."