Toy Store Clerk Pillows

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

'You say 'boo' she wets herself.'

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

"Would you like to try them out?"

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

A man sitting in the grass reading

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

University Book Store.

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'There's no fear of him making a Frankenstein's Monster out of this is there?'

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

"This one's a little more expensive, but she comes with her own reality show."

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

"Would you really want to read a book by a comedian that didn't have wide margins?"

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

"That One!"

'Does my posterior appear oversized in this?'

Hooks R Us.

"What's wrong with you? This isn't what I want! Do you know what you're doing? Can you get me a smarter clerk?"