Torch Tinkerer Pillows

'I'm afraid this is going to lead to regulation of my invention.'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Rocking horse

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Drool Marks

Tool Box

The Hobby Store

Painting the Ceiling

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Early cyborg.

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Modern kite for wind energy.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

The Not-So Smart Meter

Sale! Weed Whackers

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.