Torah Readers Mugs

Samson Gets Off at Fourteen

Manna Helper

'Yes, all at once!'

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

Moses as a child.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

"Maybe all spirit filled meetings should be held outside to avoid setting off the sprinklers."

'Whoa! - The activist judges will go NUTS with these!'

Moses Parting the Red Tea

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

"Okay, we get it - You're a social conservative!"

'I would describe it as a splitting headache.'

'The plan is that we wander in the desert until somebody recognizes our right to exist.'

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

Safer Torah

"Still not sure why Moses wanted a flint knife, or what exactly circumcision is..."

Torah-nosaurus Rex

Moses Invents the Top 10 List: 'Whoa, whoa, whoa...trust me, that's waaaay too much information.'

Torah reading on the subway.

Benaiah questions the mighty men on who pushed him in the pit.

'It's Moses again - now he's lost his traveler's checks.'

Haman as a child

'No, sorry, this isn't an oil tanker.'

'Why can't you rebel like a normal teenager?'

"Look, it's manna or nothing - No WAY He's going to give us ham sandwiches!"

'I liberate them from Egypt, give them manna, daily bread, milk AND honey, and the can't even keep ten lousy commandments!'

Joshua as a kid