Top Ten King Mugs

'According to this list, this list is ranked #4 on the greatest lists of all time.'

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Jack Gleeson

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

I hate Mondays and now I'm developing an aversion to Tuesdays!

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

The Unhappy King

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

The Royal Wii

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

"Dad, why do they tell actors to "break a leg?""

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

"Music helps with maths... like which song got to number one... which song got to number two..."

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"We lost another battle? Why does this keep happening?"