Toothpaste Prankster Pillows

'Toffee is very bad for your teeth.'

'Court's in recess!'

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

"I think it says 'courgettes'."

'I counted them as well. . .There were four too many.'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

Reason # 23 that doors don't make perfect seal against winter winds: Mischievous unemployed elves.

Write "Brenda' but use disappearing ink

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

'Nice of them to invite us to a dance.'

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

"Student unicorn"

An artist waits to ambush an easel

Fitz wasn't sure if this was a legitimate rescue or just more culinary trickery.

Dog makes cats float with helium.

This looks unusual, but these things have a mind of their own.

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

'You're so soft today. Did you switch to 2-ply?'

"Tell the Boss that we have a MAJOR computer glitch!"

How to mince a pie 1. Get hold of a pie 2. Mince that pie 3. Serve to your guests

'How many times have I told you not to play with matches?'

"This perfect present can't disappoint anybody because you buy it, wrap it in and throw it away."

I shall not insult my stupid, fat, idiotic, ugly, lousy teacher...