Tongue-in-cheek Medical Humor Pillows

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

Ice Cream Surgeon

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

PSA Banter.

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

Happy Birthday to you.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Time for your pills.'

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

"Gross."

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'