Toe Troubleshooter Pillows

'It's definitely the worst ingrown toenail I've ever seen.'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

Tossing computer into canyon.

Computer Expert

Torn-Off Mouse.

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

'I think the mouse is playing-up again love.'

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Well, none of the other options worked, so we installed a power cord on him -- if he starts going haywire again just unplug him and wait 30 seconds.'

Recalculating

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

Fixing the TV.

'Do you have 4G up here?'

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Tech support...can I help you!

"That didn't work either! I'm telling you, this is one AGGRESSIVE virus!"

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

'My computer? - I got rid of it for insubordination!'