Toe Trouble Solver Pillows

'When you said you are a hammer-toe specialist . . .'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

'Miss Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel that call to tech-support.'

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

"Hold on - 1...2...3...?"

"Whoops - the server's gone down again!"

Bootmaker upset over the death of a long term customer

"I do my best thinking in the shower... do I need to run 5 miles a day in order to take one?"

Susan used her ingenious invention to carry on playing golf during the final stages of her pregnancy!

'They're fine through the day, but when I leave work the little one goes 'wee wee wee' all the way home.'

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

'Did you try unplugging it and plugging it back in?'

"Don't - they'll just spend it on drugs."

'Try rebooting.'

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

"Tell Santa that Rudolph's check engine light is on."

Apparently, this model can only be fixed using quantum mechanics.

'And here's the little feller that'll have been the cause of all your problems. . .'

Switch it off and switch it on again

"The good news is your virus is gone. The bad news is it infected your electronic health records."

Helicopter as a clothes drier

'If you consider the time spent with tech support, our school's high-speed internet access isn't that much faster than dial-up.'

'Hello tech support? When I simultaneously press CTRL, TAB, ALT, NUM Lock, and Page Up keys, my fingers hurt.'

'Help!'

"Your electronic medical records were accidentally deleted. You'll have to start over again with acne."