Toe-touching Trainee T-Shirts

'...Then touch your toes twenty times.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

"I can't find my box of magic tricks. Have you seen it?"

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

Ballet shoes balancing on a telephone wire

'Virtual patient.'

"The rabbit got lost."

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

'They're fine through the day, but when I leave work the little one goes 'wee wee wee' all the way home.'

'He still hasn't got the hang of it.'

"Oh, don't worry. Typical beginner's mistake."

'Daddy! Your hammer doesn't work good!'

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

'Yeah, I've got the new guy working on table wines. He seems to be getting the hang of it.'

Potty Training.

"How do you turn it off?"

"Sorry, it’s my first day."

'Or there's a budget treatment with one of our trainees...'

'You can eat, but you must never again drink and be merry.'

Do as many study days as you can

"Trainee Baristas Queue Here"

'Our clientele is middle class; you know, your average Joe-750ml.'

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."

He's working his way up to lions!

'-and who's next?'

'So you don't mind starting at the bottom!'

'Here's where you'll work! I know it's confusing, however we will have paid training for you.'

Practice Makes Perfect