Tiny Track Titan T-Shirts

"Your track coach expects a speedy recovery."

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"He likes it."

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

The Hobby Store

"I'm busy this afternoon, but I can crayon you in for Saturday."

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

Sisyphus during Covid

The household cavalry

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

Googoo

'None of the other things had instructions.'

Football.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"It seems our precious three year old hacked into the White House with his playtime computer!"

'I'm trying to get in shape enough so I can wear Spandex in public.'

Cleaning Lockers.

'It's called bipedalism, Ned, and it's the wave of the future. You better get with it or get left behind.'

Congratulations for male runner

Old man plays golf, supported by his caddy and paramedic.

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

Stop the big guy!

"Honey,...Oscar wants to go for a walk."

Kid learning alphabet on computer say ABCDVD...

There Are More Things To Life Than Golf...But I Ignore Them. There are more things to life than golf...but I ignore them.

"But if you don't learn your letters and numbers, how do you ever expect to come up with a strong password?"

'Sorry about the blindfolds girls, but I haven't had time to tidy up.'

'Spinout!'

"And this was before you plumped the cushions, or after?"