Tiny Taggers Pillows

"You're young enough to play tag, but not old enough to borrow my phone to play phone tag."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"Congratulations—It's a well dressed boy."

'I don't like the sound of the engine.'

'Sharon's into genetic engineering!'

Martial Arts

'Nothin' beats a wild block party.'

"Oh no! Some self-obsessed, anti-social bastard has graffitied over your graffiti!"

'We started wearing name tags to rell who's who, unfortunately we all like the name 'Kevin,!'

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

His verbal skills are developing, but his motor skills are very advanced. (Originally published on 2009-02-01).

'How nice. I didn't even know they had computers in nursery schools.'

BLESS YOU

'Its simple: we're the nanotechnology department.'

"Now, is this the kind of painting you mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

Break Glass in Case of Fire: Tiny Firemen.

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"Look, he's got his blanket. He's doing a secure search."

"How small will he get?"

"Who do you want to replace when you grow up?"

'This convention lacks just one thing...name tags.'

'Name tag's up here, Ma'am - I'm from the Cattlemen's Delegation.

"I thought I liked babies, but, as it turned out, I mainly like baby clothes."

Graffiti like

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."

"Yes! I'm THE Britney Spears... I was named 'Britney Spears' first so that makes me THE the."

Tombstones with convention name tags

'I assume this comes with performance based bonuses and a superannuation package?'

A Young Girl And Her Pet Cat.

The Baby Mechanic

"You always said I could be what ever I want to be. I want to be someone who doesn't eat vegetables."

Santa Sucks

"Don't mind Ashley. After looking through a microscope all day, anything large startles him."

'It's his bath night, but he also wanted to watch tv.'