Tiny Influencer T-Shirts

"Part of the old boy network?"

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

"This is off our first TikTok."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

Witches of Instagram

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

Creativity 2.0

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

Paranoia vs Social Currency.

'How do I get people to visit my...'

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'