Time Traveler Dreamer T-Shirts

"Nous sommes venus conquérir votre planète."

"Hey, running late, got abducted, but we're going faster than the speed of light so I'll be there before this conversation even happens."

'To heck with dieting... who's gonna care twenty million years from now?'

The Monroe Doctrine

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

"We're following Carrot Top."

'That's about it so far, Son.'

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

Second hand furniture.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"Early model of baggage claim"

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

Time for vacation, time for work.

Schrodinger's Black Box

Man Dreaming Of Australia.

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Sundial Time

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Danger Slow Sand.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."