Time-out Expert Pillows

"How long did your mom make you sit in a corner?"

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'I'll be late for dinner Dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Non-Jet Lag.

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

"You're late."

'Time-outs might have more meaning when I learn to tell time.'

'I need a Vacation.'

'I'm sorry I didn't come to work yesterday, sir -- somehow, it seemed like Sunday.'

"What kind of take-out are you in the mood for: overpriced or overrated?"

"When I know he's had a rough day, I always put a few drops of lavender on the TV remote before he gets home."

Doing timeout changes a guy.

What an attitude... Yes, but he does the job brilliantly.

'Please stand by. You have temporarily lost your picture. Broadcasting will resume when you have finished your homework.'

'You get 104 personal day. They're called Saturdays and Sundays.'

"...when oil begins shimmering...stir in vegetables and cook until tender."

Timmy Gets Solitary.

"Mom wasn't impressed with my suggestion that we 'agree to disagree'."

"Hurry up! - You don't have all day. . ."

Shaker Timeouts

"You're getting a time-out because Mommy needs a time-out."

'You are supposed to be here.'

Building a house.

'Yes - He's armed.'

Turtle timeouts. And when you think you can behave, I'll be back to flip you over. (Published originally on May 21, 2003.)

"Cooking is easy. You put stuff on the stove, burn it and then order pizza. My mom does it all the time."

"I'm so overscheduled. If it weren't for timeouts, I'd have no free time at all."

'I didn't have time to put up a lot of lights, so this year I only put up one giant one.'

'What've you got in the way of long term sick holidays ?'

"Correction. It's not a zombie apocalypse. They're simply adjusting to daylight savings time."

'Time out He pulled a muscle,'

'...And they gave me fifteen more minutes for resisting arrest!'

'I told you these were great seats, but there is a downside. If you need to go to the restroom...'

'Like I have the time.'