Time Management Jester Gifts

'Funny how the pub quiz champion can't tell what time it is'

'Tell the boss I'm leaving an hour early this afternoon, to make up for being an hour late this morning.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

Work Parfait

Fact: The average person spends 4.3 hours per week looking for things that are misplaced, misfiled or mislabeled.

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'So, come back in fifteen minutes?...Twenty?'

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

"I managed to find a healthy work-life balance, but now there's a problem with my bank balance."

"The admin shouldn’t take more than 30 or 40 hours, then you’ll be free to get on with some work."

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

Non-Jet Lag.

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"People just don't realise how stressful this job is. . . I used to have hair!"

"Planning, who's got time for planning... I don't even have time to get dressed in the morning."

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'Leave my biscuit in my in-tray. I'll deal with it in the morning.'

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

"Well, we can tackle this now when we're exhausted from the week or wait until Monday when we're exhausted from the weekend."

"I have called you to attend this meeting to tell you that the meeting I originally called you for is canceled!"

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

Time Management